Being broken is sweet? You’ve got to be kidding me!!
Like most people I grew up believing that I needed to be strong and independent. After all, we live in a very broken world and it is human nature to protect our hearts from anything that hurts…which includes a plethora of things! So we put a smile on our faces and pretend that everything is fine, just fine…but deep inside we know that something is terribly wrong. I wrote about this in my journal several years ago.
I wear a mask, I wear it well. I play a game in which the only rule is to say, ‘It’s okay.’ I say it over and over again…over and over all day long. But deep inside I know that it is only a façade.
After years of striving to hold it all together I was exhausted and finally came to the end of myself. Even though I tried as hard as possible, I could no longer control things around me. Actually God, in His graciousness allowed me to think I was in control, but He was the One that held me together in spite of myself. I realized that I had used up all of my abilities, charms and power and was empty. But this was a good place to be because I was empty and ready to be filled with the Holy One.
Surrendering is hard for all of us. The very word, “surrender” makes me think of losing a war and who likes to lose at anything? It’s sobering to realize that Jesus, who is the King of kings and Lord of lords, is the supreme example of abdication. We see this in Hebrews 5:7.
“While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could deliver him out of death. And God heard his prayers because of his reverence for God” (Hebrews 5:7).
Jesus cried out loudly to God, offering sweet tears of surrender. His brokenness was never more evident than when He humbled Himself and sweetly surrendered to the Father’s plan, even though it meant suffering and death. Recognizing that Jesus went before me infuses me with hope. He paved the way so that I can have courage to follow in His footsteps.
Like our Beloved Savior, as I bowed my pain before the Holy One in worship, I learned that it is sweet to be broken, battered, and incapable of doing anything without the Protector of my soul. For the first time in my life, I began to see that it was okay to surrender my will to my Beloved and become desperately weak and needy. God created all of us with relational needs and is pleased when we admit that we are totally inadequate without Him. It is only in our brokenness that His glory can break forth with divine power and might in our lives. When we stop fighting and embrace our brokenness and cry out to the only One who can heal us, we can finally experience the nearness of our Beloved. This is the place of divine healing and rest.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18).