Where was God?
No God, no!! This can’t be true! Berkley’s parents have served faithfully as missionaries for years. They’ve given their lives for Your service…so how could you allow this to happen? Where were You when Berkley was being sexually molested? These were some of the hard questions I asked God when I heard that our friends’ teenage daughter had been sexually abused by a relative from the time she was six years old. I wondered, How could this happen when our friends have faithfully prayed for the physical, emotional and spiritual protection of their children? Where were You, God?
I understood the heartache Berkley was experiencing firsthand because I had also been abused by someone that should have protected me. Unlike Berkley, however, I had no one praying for me when I was a child. Hearing Berkley’s story stirred up the questions that I had wrestled with for many years. Where were You, God, when bad things happened to me? Do You really care about me or am I just a little rag-a-muffin? The Bible says that You are faithful, but I don’t feel like I can trust You.
Over the years I’ve had lots of people try to explain where God was when bad things happen, but they all left me feeling confused. Some said that Jesus was in the room weeping in the corner while I was being abused. That didn’t provide comfort because that would mean that God is passive. Others argued that God was doing His best to protect me, but the perpetrator wouldn’t listen. Well, doing His best wasn’t good enough for me. That would mean that He is impotent and I could never trust a God who is weak. As I was on my knees in desperation one day, I heard gentle words spoken into my heart. It wasn’t an audible voice, but a gentle Spirit to spirit encounter that changed my life forever.
As I listened with spiritual ears, the Holy One revealed Himself as the God of the angel armies. This can be clearly seen in the book of Isaiah:
“For I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar. My name is the LORD of Heaven’s Armies” (Isaiah 51:15 NLT).
He assured me that He wasn’t passively standing by observing the vile things that were done to me. Instead, He was actively engaged in heavenly warfare while I was being harmed by human beings under Satan’s control. The angelic forces of light were fighting under His command, protecting my soul from being lost forever in Satan’s grasp.
The Holy One wasn’t watching impotently as unspeakable things were done to an innocent child. Electrifying power was filling heaven and earth as He waged war against the forces of evil on my behalf.
“Fire goes forth before him and burns up all his foes. His lightning flashes out across the world. The earth sees and trembles” (Psalm 97:3-4).
The results of this victory meant that I was tormented, but not defeated. The father of lies could not snatch me away from the Lord’s heavenly grasp. Even though my body was broken, my spiritual destiny was, and is forever sealed. I am safe in His strong right hand. The Great I AM was fighting for me and I am forever grateful for His faithfulness.
God spoke to my heart in worship that day and revealed that He is not passive or impotent. He is the Lord of heaven’s armies and was and will forever be the protector of my soul. This was an aha moment for me as it exposed one of the lies from Satan that I had believed. The lie that said, I can’t trust God because He didn’t protect me was changed. Now I know where God was when bad things happened to me. He was fighting in the heavenlies and even though evil people hurt my body, God saved my soul for Himself.